What it Means to be a Military Spouse on November 11

This is us

This post, while my first on the website wont talk about what it means to communicate or make any of the normal linkages that I will in future posts. On my blog, most of the content published will be about how to authentically communicate and the best practices surrounding it… today I want to bring you into my life a little bit. I am a military spouse. My husband is a Canadian Forces Member. He is proud to serve his country and I am proud of him for it.

When he serves though, so do I, and so does his children. Remembrance day is coming up in two days and as I reflect on what it means to be Canadian, and to be in the Military I keep coming back to how much our lives are dictated

by his career. When November 11 comes back to us, as it does each year, not only do we take the time to remember those who have given the ultimate sacrifice before us, we should reflect on those who were left behind and those who by supporting their “member” have also sacrificed.

The difficulties that military families, and those who love our members face, are often unrecognized and can go unnoticed. However, when a military member joins the Canadian Forces, it means her family, parents, and loved ones also join that lifestyle.

It means having to move every few years;

It means having restart a career to follow your spouse; (this is one of the many reasons I run this wonderful, and fulfilling consulting and coaching company, so I don’t have to start again, so that I can help many organizations nationwide, as I develop contacts across the country)

It means uprooting children, leaving friends and family, and moving to a new city, province or even country, where you may not know anyone;

It means buying a house without knowing where you should live in the city because you had never been there before, and you only have 5 days to pick a house that you and your family will live in for the next 4 years; (It means trusting your realtor at an unprecedented level ;) )

It means that you may spend six months sitting on the floor holding your young children in your lap as they cry (for any number of reasons), but mainly because they don’t understand why they live in a new house, and town and the daily structure they had known is gone and has to be redeveloped;

And;

It means that when your spouse goes to training, or deployment or on a mission… that he or she… may not come home.

BUT …..

It also means that resiliency is taught, learned and embraced;

It also means that coping skills are developed early on, which will carry through life;

It also means that people you have never met before become FAMILY in the shortest amount of time possible, because they too have lived through it and understand;

It also means that you develop life-long friends, who may not live near you anymore but still love you and support you from across the country;

It also means that the military “family” welcomes and embraces newcomers to an area with open arms and a welcoming embrace;

It also means that you can learn and integrate into the many different cultures that Canada has to offer, in her many cities and towns across ten provinces and three territories;

It also means that opportunity to expand your horizons are offered just because you have to be flexible and adaptable and COURAGEOUS (and yes moving and supporting your spouse as military spouses must, counts in the bravery category);

It also means that the network of friends and “family” you can call your own is nationwide;

AND

It also means that every November 11, you cry, while trying not to show that you are crying; that in your soul you understand, in a way that many people can’t, what the term “sacrifice” means.

Sitting on the floor before school, two years after the last move and we still do this.

It also means that:

the moving;
the relationship building;
the new jobs;
the leaving friends;
- and schools;
- and doctors (don’t get me started on finding a doctor);

that the military spouse copes with and handles throughout the military journey is a sacrifice for the Country.

This doesn’t compare though to the sacrifice of those who were left behind when their soldier provided the ultimate sacrifice for his country.

It also means that the pride your spouse has in his country is also felt and supported by you, the military family member.

You are proud of her but you know that you are giving to your country also, just as much and sometimes more by being the other half of the partnership.

I am a proud military spouse.

Crystal

PS: On Sunday please take the time to attend a Remembrance Day Ceremony and when you shake the hand or nod to a military member, nod to her husband or his wife and their kids.